back on my island

I am back on my island, since the 5th of this beautiful month, remaining until the 19th.

After few days of working within an academic event, and making contacts we continued our stay in our beloved Pernera. My mom came to meet us on the evening of the same day.

I am now in mode: vacation. Of course I have my laptop with me and I hope to start working again on my thesis but meanwhile

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there is a sweet flamingo in the swimming pool wandering about according to the wind direction.

Today we will go to the beach and profit fully from this privilege of living for few blessed days near clear and clean waters.

My research director was also in the same event and he told me at the end, that when I will have some new material, I should let him know so he could organize a new seminar like last year. He didn’t make any pressure but I was simply motivated to restart my writing, long delayed by travels and life concerning issues.

Now I am in peace, I went to Cairo and got my manuscripts, I am using my super laptop offered with much love by my mom and husband at my birthday this year. All is loving and encouraging, I just need to open my document and simply start.

Sweet moments to all

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tournesol?

Pourquoi le tournesol ne s’appelle-t-il pas tournesoleil?

C’est vrai qu’il est planté dans la terre, et bien enraciné mais s’il tourne malgré tout c’est bien pour suivre le soleil.

Alors le soleil est sa motivation et je trouve qu’il doit être inclus dans le nom de la fleur.

En Arabe, on l’appelle tourne-soleil  دوّار الشّمس parce que quelqu’un qui a du bon sens avait trouvé cette même logique à mon avis avant de nommer la fleur.

Au nom de cette belle fleur si vivante, je demande un changement du nom.

The sunshine within

I met a sunshine trapped in a wonderful person.

She told me: “you are ageless” as our conversation was coming to that point.

Sometimes people are named exactly like they would become. And her sparkle is exactly the illustration of that fact.

People who know directly come to talk about things that matter, they start dusting away the prefabricated ideas and worshiped icons. We did that, we skipped all the small talk after a small introduction. We knew how much the other one has already achieved.

It was a lovely evening, to be able to speak your mind, especially about music with someone who gets it!

I met a soul, a true soul in this godforsaken place and I will hold on to this amazing to be friendship.

Replacing a D. with another D. I guess in my life as both women’s name start with the same letter.

The first D. was a sister, now she is someone else, actually she has been someone else for a while and I was miserable, living with this thought but the new D. I met lift my spirits up and I knew the reason I decided to stay through the evening. Of course, it was for my mom, I promised her not to worry and I will take care of bringing her home but as I started to talk with D, common points began to emerge and I was amazed.

We both have the sunshine within, she is used to the aggressive society and copes with all its aspects in the best way she can.  I am still a rebel and I refuse certain aspects and I say it out loud. On this level, she got to maturity, I believe I need time before I can shut up about things that bother me. I guess I am still trying to educate people despite my knowledge that this can’t be done.

All in all, I am happy and extremely lucky to have found a person from my kind and species as she said. 😀

 

I was in Cairo

After months of waiting, convincing myself that I will go and get my manuscripts, I finally went to Cairo in the most terrible month: August as I was exactly imagining it. Yes it was a glorious week in August, very dusty and very very warm.

But I did it, I got my two main manuscripts, it appeared that the third one is the same as the one published but is registered under a different number, it was a disappointment but why not? Two manuscripts will still give me lots of work to do. Here I was at the glorious Dar al-Kutub, making friends, looking at how life goes on there. I went four days on the row, so I know the routine coffee, breakfast of the looking staff.

Yes, like my job here, there are a bunch of “looking people” in every department, many in some, while others really take all the weight of things and do what needs to be done.

Anyway I am not here to criticize anyone. I have friends there, Rania the sweet mother of two beautiful girls, Hamdiyya with the golden heart who reminds me of myself by checking every day on her mother and other sweet persons.

I was afraid but I did it. I was afraid from all the stories we hear but I realized how lies are actually the stories and the stories are fading away.

I stayed in the charming old neighborhood of Bulaq which used to be the center of the city, now left to self destruction and lack of basic needs. I walked the big axes of the city to find the places I needed to go to. My feet were screaming at the end. I offered myself one touristic day, on Friday and visited the main attractions.

My impression of Cairo can be resumed with “good heart people” and “true things”. Media doesn’t reflect the truth. All the people I asked for help were helpful, some walked with me to the place when I was lost and showed me the exact door I need. Too kind I tell you. I hope I will be back again to Cairo for the cultural happening of the book exhibition.

I also miss my friends.

On another level, I had a lot to do since I got back that so far, I haven’t got the time to start my work on the thesis. I have till the end of the year to deliver the first volume.

Affirmation: I can deliver the first volume by the end of this year. I can do it and I will do it.

Disciplinary intervention for a practice of ethnomusicology

Sound Matters: The SEM Blog

The statement below—signed voluntarily by practitioners of ethnomusicology in April 2017—builds on disciplinary concerns that music and sound scholars past and present have identified. It affirms the need to move beyond narrative debates and toward structural change in music institutions, toward enacting justice. The primary authors of this statement intend it to be a living document that cultivates discussion and stimulates proposals of concrete measures that can redress institutionalized inequities.

This statement has grown out of nearly a year and a half of discussion and writing. The authors intend it to generate conversation and action. Please sign using this form, providing your name and institution if you are comfortable doing so, or your initials or “Anonymous” with no institutional affiliation. To sign, you will need to scroll past all the previous names to enter yours as prompted. Signatory list will be updated daily. Response essays are welcome for consideration…

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Freedom statement

I am one creature from  the human species, now living on this planet earth.

I will  not be classified according to the 1000000 standards of other creatures like me.

I refuse that the color of my skin or the curl of my hair let you have a wrong idea of who I really am.

I do not belong to the country where I live nor to the other country that adopted me. My two identities do not make me who I am.

My personal beliefs or disbeliefs in the 1000 religions and sects that roam the planet earth since forever do not define who I am.

Being a smoker or a tall person, being a red head or a barefeet walker do  not define who I am.

If you want to know me, sit down and let’s have a talk, walk, meals, listen to my voice, see my attitude and behaviour.

You might still want to put my existence into one group of people because it would feel safer for you to say: I know a gothic, a hippie, a conservative mind, a careless but I don’t think that this will make you closer to who I am.

You would rather be far away in your thoughts about me than know me for sure. This I know because I lived it already in my past life.

My freedom is beyond reach, my father’s village is his and my mother’s religion is hers. I do not belong to their thinking, I did not inherit but the marks on paper of these aspects. Common people who are afraid of change only see as far as these ink stretches but this is still not me.

You might see the aspect you like more because accepting a person living outside the society is much challenge for you to understand. You could be in danger if you are a friend to such. You might be categorized as “the friend of x” and it would be too much for your comfortable life to bare.

Better leave the sick people alone, right?

Fine by me. I don’t need fake promisses of your hell or paradise to make me behave or live. I prefer my version, I will take my chances of ending up somewhere new and far away from your inherited ideas. I am not afraid of the new, it is life.

I am free, my mind has no limits. I wish I could live in other times, in free times.

I wish I could be real honest with my surrounding but I might not get my paycheck at the end of the month if I do so and be so.

I wish I had a different way to earn my life that can allow me to be free. Now I am strained but I am working to get my freedom.

I am sorry that I have to be hypocrite and play the society games to get through safely. I have seen people hurt and killed for believing or acting freely. My life is too precious, it is mine to control and for that I am ready to be hypocrite for a while before I can be openly what I want to be and how I am truly inside.

I will play the game: selling you the many truths you live by so I could survive, telling you the many stories that make you happy with all the endings you like so I can in my own place tell the only story I know.

I shape my life, I color every aspect of it. I alone decide who I am. I am hypocrite but free.

Ma maman est en voyage

Je me sens seule. Ma maman est ma meilleure amie. Chaque matin on se dit bonjour sur whatsapp et on se souhaite une bonne journée, on se raconte notre journée au fil des heures “j’ai fait cela… j’ai été dans un tel endroit acheter cela…. j’ai préparé un plat….” on parle de tout, tout le temps. Maman vient d’arriver à Belgrade. Son voyage, elle voulait le faire depuis que nous étions toutes petites ma soeur et moi. Mais payer pour l’école, les activités, l’école de musique, les nouveaux habits…. elle a fait mille sacrifices et plus pour notre confort aux dépends de son rêve de voyage et son confort aussi, plusieurs fois.

Cette année, le voyage se profilait avec plusieurs agences, je l’ai encouragée. Elle craignait de voyager seule et je lui avais dit que j’irai avec elle mais les circonstances ont été telles que je pars pour l’Allemagne le matin même de son retour donc je n’avais pas le choix de l’accompagner et il n’ y avait pas d’autres dates. une fois l’an et c’est tout. Finalement, son désir était plus fort et elle a fait la réservation et tout.

Sa voix me manque ce matin. J’espère qu’elle n’est pas trop fatiguée. Elle n’a pas dormi du tout la veille de son départ. Je comprends. Je suis contente pour elle.

maman je t’aime ❤